I'm Jealous of the People Who Inspire Me

I'm jealous of the people who inspire me. Ironic, right? The same people who spark the creative fire in me can also leave me fuming. It's messy, contradictory, and derails my creative flow faster than a pop-up ad mid-YouTube video. I don't want to feel this way, but I can't help the feeling sometimes. I'm jealous of their success, status, and connections. I'm jealous of their talent, effortless creativity, and innate ability to turn anything their hands touch into content gold. I'm jealous because, to me, it looks like they have it all. 

I'm a generally optimistic individual—always upbeat, curious, and eager to learn. However, as I work toward honing my skills, imposter syndrome often creeps in, like the ghost of mistakes past, reminding me of all my fuck-ups and embarrassing moments at 2 am. Dragging along questions like, "Why am I even trying?" "Am I good enough for this?" and "Can I build a career doing what I love?" These thoughts leave me paralyzed with fear about not measuring up.

Lately, my fears have taken on a dramatic new role: existential dread about my career and place in this chaotic world. I'm 24, recently graduated, and I have no idea what the hell I'm doing! I've thrown caution (and my savings) to the wind by moving across the country to a state where I know no one, banking on the cliche of "finding myself." I've chosen a notoriously competitive career in the middle of an era where the job market feels like a scene in The Hunger Games. I'm rationing my once-a-week coffee like it's liquid gold to maintain sanity while my budget sobs in the corner. To top it off, there's always a traumatic earth-shattering event happening in the world every other hour, which mentally exhausts me to the point of insanity.

Meanwhile, 18-year-old influencer millionaires are jetting off to brand trips every other week, sipping Piña Coladas on beaches so pristine they look photoshopped. So, where does that leave me? Conflicted, clutching my $6.75 coffee, teetering on the brink of a quarter-life crisis-induced meltdown. 

Like many, my fear of not being good enough likely ties back to childhood— cue little me obsessively rearranging my gold star sticker chart. I vividly remember moments when academic recognition felt like the only validation that mattered: the A on a test, a gold star on a project, and the end of the year award ceremony, where you proudly get to stand in front of all your friends and family. These were the moments I strived for. Now, as an adult, I crave success so fiercely that failure feels like a personal betrayal. And when I don't measure up, the spiral begins: "Why can't I be like them?" "Why am I not better?" Sound familiar? 

The harsh reality is that there will always be someone better. Somebody more creative, intelligent, ambitious, affluent, athletic, beautiful, or likable. I don't say this to dampen your mood; it's a reminder that these feelings are universal. Jealousy, comparison, anger, and self-doubt are all part of the human condition, but these feelings don't have to define us.

Here's the thing about jealousy: it's inevitable, but it doesn't have to be your kryptonite. In fact, it can be your most excellent motivator if you know how to utilize it. Treat your jealousy like your secret weapon, a sneaky little sparkplug waiting to ignite your next move! Remember, the same people who you're comparing yourself to sucked at one point! Success isn't a birthright; it's earned. Sure, some people gain success faster than others, and that can be tough. But success isn't always about speed; it's about persistence. Oftentimes, success boils down to timing, luck, and factors beyond our control. Without you even realizing it, a million little dominoes must align perfectly for your dreams to fall into place. Even right this second, a million and one factors had to occur for you to even exist in the world today! What is the main difference between you and the person you admire? Their persistence and consistency. 

As a child, you may have heard the saying, "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Totally annoying, right? But there's truth in the cliche. What would be the point if everything in life were handed to us on a silver platter? How would we become the person we're meant to be? Challenges and struggles shape us. They influence our outlook, core values, and sense of purpose. 

Take Aaliyah, the Princess of R&B and Queen of Urban Pop. Sure, she had immense talent, but she also hustled. Starting in her church choir, she spent years grinding behind the scenes before reaching stardom. Her success wasn't magic; it was momentum. Thanks to her hard work, we're blessed with her timeless hit, Try Again (which perfectly fits this blog's theme). Her story reminds us that success is built on persistence and passion. 

The person you are today is a remarkable blend of countless unexpected events and uncanny unique experiences. Success will come when the timing aligns perfectly, but achieving that will require time, patience, and commitment. 

You might think, "Okay, Shelby, I get it, hard work, persistence, and whatever. How does this help with my imposter syndrome and jealousy?" Great question. For starters, my dear, eager friend, remember that patience is essential! Beyond that, here are three strategies to address imposter syndrome and ongoing feelings of competition: 

1. Ask Yourself: Why am I Jealous?

If it's something you can control, treat it as an opportunity to grow. For example, if you admire someone's consistency on social media, ask yourself, "What tools or habits help them show up every day?" If you're jealous of someone's ability to post Reels or TikToks while somehow looking effortlessly cool, start by figuring out your go-to angles (Self-timer selfies, game-changers!) Use their habits or strategies to inspire little changes in your life. Set new goals and break them down into tiny, actionable steps. Start small and build momentum gradually; this way, you're setting yourself up for sustainable progress instead of frustration and failure. 

If your jealousy stems from things beyond your control, focus on your strengths and achievements. I know it's easy to get down on yourself and want to rue the world for the cruel realities it's placed in front of you. Take a step back and acknowledge that your path is uniquely yours. Reflect on your journey and embrace what makes you different. Channel your energy into actionable efforts toward your goals.

2. Implement Creative Play

When self-doubt paralyzes you, remember this: your best ideas come from play, not pressure. Indulging in creative play helps break down mental barriers and pushes you to rediscover the joy of creating, sparking inspiration and ideas. A college professor once taught me about "creative rituals," simple activities that encourage experimentation without expectations. Once a week in her class, we'd start the session with 30-45 minutes on our rituals. Her expectations for our rituals were as follows: 1. It had to be the same activity each time, 2. The activity had to have guidelines that challenged us creatively but were still easy enough for us to execute; 3. It had to be an activity you could perform anywhere at any time and didn't require extensive or elaborate materials. For example, one classmate would doodle 5 shapes and transform them into characters. Their rules? No erasing, only adding. The exercise was low-pressure and fun, which helped them think outside the box. 

Personally, I love junk journaling! There's something oddly magical about turning scraps of "trash" into treasure. I've turned receipts, crumpled-up Post-it notes, and the occasional food wrapper into art. It reminds me that creativity thrives in chaos, and imperfections can be beautiful. Collecting "trash" from my day to make collages is my way of embracing flaws and finding joy in piecing them together. Your creative ritual should be personal to you and stress-free. Whether it's painting with only your fingers, taking 10 photos in 10 minutes, or curating the ultimate playlist for a niche experience, whatever you choose, let go and create for the sake of creating. 

3. Curate Your Content With Intention

Social media can be a double-edged sword. As much as it connects us to the world, it can disconnect us from ourselves. Instead of doom-scrolling, curate your feed. If I'm going to be chronically online, I might as well fill my feed with educational and helpful content. Consuming social media and other content can feed your creativity if you're intentional about who and what you follow. Follow creators who light a spark in you and ditch those accounts that make you spiral, like the influencers whose highlight reel makes you want to crawl under a blanket. For instance, I've learned practical design tips from creators like James Barnard on TikTok. Their content inspires me and helps me grow my skill set. 

Beyond social media, explore other platforms, such as podcasts, books, or videos/movies, that align with your interests and goals. My current guilty pleasure is watching ASMR videos of people bullet journaling. Other outlets, like podcasts on design, marketing, and business, are perfect for me to learn passively while cleaning, driving, or working out. Finding what resonates with you will take time, but your algorithm will start working in your favor once you do. 

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The next time jealousy strikes (because, let’s be honest, we know it will), let's not allow it to derail us. Instead, let's embrace it as a teacher. A chaotic, complicated one that forces us to confront our fears and insecurities. Remember the 24-year-old, coffee-rationing, quarter-life-crisis version of me I mentioned earlier? That same fear and confusion about my place in the world could have kept me stuck, but instead, it's what kept me motivated to keep showing up, one uncertain step at a time

Those moments of doubt and envy are just proof that you care. They show you're passionate, hungry, and chasing something that matters to you. Use that energy to guide your growth, and let it spark your next big idea. Who knows? One day, the thing you create from all this chaos could be the spark of inspiration (or, yes, even a little jealousy) for someone else.

The best part? You don't have to be a carbon copy of those who inspire you to make it happen. Your journey, with all its messiness, quirks, and beautifully flawed steps, makes you powerful. Own it. Embrace it. And trust that you're exactly where you're meant to be.